


I don't think the show is ending, Everybody's still applauding

by gemstone_6



Series: MarchusAnnus [12]
Category: markiplier - Fandom
Genre: MarchusAnnus, Sometimes Bim isn’t ok, death mention, imposter syndrome, its not good :(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:49:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23148031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemstone_6/pseuds/gemstone_6
Summary: Confidence is something Bim naturally has, until it all comes crashing down
Series: MarchusAnnus [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1651543
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	I don't think the show is ending, Everybody's still applauding

**Author's Note:**

> Day 14!  
> Sorry I didn’t post yesterday, my laptop broke and I just found out I won’t have school for 2 weeks so I’ve been dealing with a lot :p  
> Anyways have this fic! I like writing my headcanons honestly UwU, also sorry if the formatting is weird, I’m posting this on my phone  
>  (Title is a lyric from the song Star of the show by ghost!)

Bim was an incredibly confident person, he could be a bit arrogant at times but his ability to instantly charm an audience was a fascinating thing to see, especially in person. He seemed to have this unbreakable shell, that no one could ever damage his pride no matter how hard they tried. So maybe that’s why the others would notice when something wasn’t right with him.

There were days where he wasn’t as talkative and didn’t want to be around them as often, he’d go straight to his room after filming, not even bothering to look at them. They’d ask him if anything was wrong but always had an excuse for it, either a bad filming day or he was just feeling a little bit sick and he’d give them a smile saying that he’ll get over it.

Bim wasn’t completely lying, it did have something to do with filming, he just didn’t want others to know why he was acting off, but there were days where he couldn’t take it anymore, he loved being in front of the camera but there was this nagging voice in mind saying that he’s a fraud, that he just tricked everyone into liking him. It made him panic, what if he really was a fraud? Did he deserve everything that happened to him? Would anyone find out he’s fake? Bim didn’t know how to handle any of this, so on days where it just got worse, he isolated himself from the others. He knew he wasn't that great at hiding it but what else was he supposed to do? He couldn’t admit that he thought he was a fraud, he just couldn’t. When he tried to film on those days everything had to be perfect, if one thing went wrong it felt like his world was crashing in on him. Bim just wanted to get away as soon as he could, to just get away from the spotlight. He didn’t deserve it, he didn’t deserve all of this, what did he do any differently than another host? He had nothing to show for it, why did they all like him in the first place? It made no sense to him at all. He just couldn’t wrap his head around all of it. There were so many expectations to live up to, his fans wanted so much out of him and it felt like he couldn’t keep up no matter how hard he tried to.

People loved him, but he didn’t think he deserved it, he wasn’t enough for them. They’ll find out eventually, he couldn’t keep it up forever. He tricked them into thinking he was someone he’s not and he’s going to pay for it eventually. Maybe the other egos would throw him, let him die alone and cold, a complete failure to anyone he ever cared about. It felt appropriate for him, maybe that’s why he didn’t want to see them on those days, he wanted to avoid being weak in front of them. Everyone had better things to worry about anyways than his dumb problems, even if it hurt him to avoid them, plus his confidence would come back to him eventually and he could bury those thoughts until they inevitably came back to him, so why bother anyone?


End file.
